This is edited repost of my first post in Red Chilled Chili that is from year 2011 (Original publish 17.04.2011 at 13:56). My blog is on English but this first post was on Finnish and I did feel like its time to change it...finally. This is not word-to-word translation but edited version. Original Finnish post is on end of this
Human, every human will see at least a
little snippet of a
horror movie on some point of
their life. Some of us are lucky ones and only see them through screen,
others will have to live in them, some even long times. There are some horror genres that you can't really live in, like vampires, aliens, werewolves
and zombies. Some will tell that all these thing are true, but I leave it
to you to decide. Most important to this post is the last one on the list, like
you could quest from the title.
World “zombie” was first recorded in 1819,
in a history of Brazil by a poet Robert Southey, in form of “zombi”. The Oxford
English Dictionary gives the origin of the world as West African, and compares
it to the Kongo words "nzambi" (god) and "zumbi" (fetish).
There are some other worlds for zombie like Haitian Creole: zonbi and North
Mbundu: nzumbe.
Especially in South African and Caribbean
cultures see zombie as a dead person that bokor, a witch-like figure, has
brought back to life by act of necromancy. Zombies remain under the control of
the bokor as their personal slaves, since they have no will of their own.
When Zora Neale Hurston in 1937 was studying
folklores in Haiti she encountered a case about a woman who appeared in a village
she was visiting. A family did claim that she was Felicia Felix-Mentor, a relative who had
died and been buried in 1907 at the age of 29. However, the woman had been
examined by a doctor, who found on X-ray that she did not have the leg fracture
that Felix-Mentor was known to have had. Hurston pursued rumors that the
affected persons were given a powerful psychoactive drug, but she was unable to
locate individuals willing to offer much information.
The idea of physical zombie-like creatures
is present in some South African cultures, where they are called xidachane in
Sotho/Tsonga and maduxwane in Venda. In some communities it is believed that a
dead person can be zombified by a small child.
Find more of Haitian tradition of zombies
here.
I think that was enough of folklore zombie
history. It’s time to jump in today’s popular culture zombies. Zombies that we
all know, fear and love.
Modern horror did accept these flesh
craving, clumsy and stupid creatures on 1968 by George A. Romero movie Night of
the living dead. After that zombies did start slow crawl to top of creature
horror fighting its spot right next to vampires, werewolves and other. Now days
they are in books, comics, TV-series, games, movies in every possible genre,
clothes, music, figurines and so much more.
When you ask what zombies are like people will
most likely tell that they are: stupid, slow, clumsy, they crave for flesh or
brains, they don't feel or react to pain/injury, strong, tireless and that they
are dead. Or they should be dead. Old original way to get infected as a zombie
where to get bitten or scratched by one, to some this is the only way.
Now day’s zombies have different kind of
skill sets. Some are just like old times, but then there are some that are
smart, fast, super strong and some of them move in large hordes. Funniest or
most horrifying thing is that now day’s zombies don't have to be mere humans anymore.
People who knows Resident Evil (games or movies) has seen that there are
mutants and cute little dogs that will kill you in a heartbeat. Everything is
possible these days’ even sheep’s (Black Sheep 2006) there are no longer any
limits. There is one thing that has not changed, or will change.
Healthy/immune/no-zombies are still STUPID!
How is it possible that people living on
21th century have never heard of the living dead? Hello, that is not really
possible scenario “What is that thing that hunts and eats other humans? Oh now
that one that has it throat ripped out started to move and hunt as well! But
what is it?” Like really. This is especially annoying if movie or whatever is
based to this our universe. If it’s some total alternative then you can accept
it but not if it’s like 2011 America where Obama is the president.
We understand (not really) that humans wants
to revenge wrongs done to them but do you need to do it middle of zombie apocalypse?
Are there not enough danger around you so you have to try get it with fighting
and shit? But no you have to fight fellow human or run after one of the
creatures, catch it, scream and shout to it (it will not understand you), shoot
couple clips worth of bullets (out of bullets bitch) and after that beat it to
dead yet again with your bare hands. Remember to wipe bloody hands across your
lips when you are on it. And when it’s time to this person to leave and go back
with the others this hero notice that he is surrounded by zombies. He starts to
shoot them on left to right, sound attracting more of them and finally when he decide
that he will not be one of them, turns
gun to himself and pulls the trigger…blank, again, blank, he has no more ammo.
How it feels do die by be eaten alive? And then we got hero number 2 who will
do the same shit until no one is left to act as a hero OR we got someone who is
acting smart and just says “fuck this” and leave.
“Home, religion and father/motherland” was
slogan of Finnish Christian Democrats in 2011 but same idiocy happens in zombie
movies. When own honey bonbon turns to one of them it CAN'T be killed and if someone
else attempt to do the right thing he has to put down! That is a fantastic logic!
Even that granny who did learn to walk on the sealing by some miracle will
survive because well no reason. All of us zombie fans have most likely seen
most if not all George A. Romero zombie movies. Gamers have played one of
Resident Evil series or Left 4 Dead games, or other zombie themed one.
If you have collected yourself together
and are ready to the kill. Shoot them to the damn HEAD! Boom headshot darling! But
no. Let’s try some other ways first right? Let’s try legs, arms, on the middle,
damn heart then! *tump* it falls down, walk to it nudge it with your boot, turn
to your friend, crack out some F-class joke *rousk* look down, zombie has its teeth
on you, that’s shitty luck! Game over!
You can bank on it that every year there
will be some more zombie themed movies. Quality is not guaranteed, but there
will be blood. Zombies are ageless you can still watch Zombie 2 or Zombie Flesh
Eaters that was released in 1979 and like it. It will not be as fancy that
newest movies but it looks damn good for 30 year old movie. Basic plot is
always same, disease breaks free somewhere somehow, someone gets infected, it starts to spread, epidemic and then we have couple non-infected people tries to
survive in new world.
That’s it, have fun and watch out of strangers
who tries to bite you without any reason or growl…whose mouth is dripping with
blood and eyes looks little weird. Well looks some “Zombie survival guide” and
you will know!
ORIGINAL post translated to English 26.01.2015 with little modding and adding here and there.
